Entertainment News Written by  Monday, 12 December 2016 12:42 font size decrease font size increase font size 0
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The best thing about the community I now live in are my neighbours. If it were not for these great people, living in the Caymanas Country Club estates would be virtually unbearable because of the litany of constant problems with the cheap fixtures, crumbling infrastructure and shoddy workmanship I have had to endure since I moved there.   
When I moved into my house, I told the supervisor that a tile in my daughter's room was hollow, three years later, it is still loose today, but no worries because it just so happens, now I have to retile the entire living room and kitchen in what is basically a new house. This situation has set me back almost $200,000 and despite repeated calls to the New Era Homes office and repeated trips to the nearby warehouse, I am yet to get any answers. The only time I can get the supervisor to answer his phone is to call him from a number that he doesn't know. How can they operate like that?
So I just want to take this opportunity to say (drum roll please).... EAT A DICK NEW ERA HOMES LTD, you cheap, no-account bastards, your shoddy work, incompetence and shady corner-cutting has made this community a living hell. 
Thank you for the smell of raw sewage mingling with the cool morning air, especially, in the days after holiday weekends. Thank you for the highly aggressive species of mosquitoes that are as big as fighter planes and who are the original tenants of this community. In this community, I have spotted and killed mosquitoes with orange and yellow underbellies. What the hell is that? A new mutant species? Like a bad sci-fi movie from the 1960s. I have seen mosquitoes so big they would not die from a single bullet wound, I kid you not. They should get a few entomologists to come and study them because I have never been attacked by mosquitoes during the daytime before I lived here and I resided in Portmore for almost 20 years.
Three years ago, in the first month of living in the house, the signs were already ominous. One morning, I was taking a shower when the shower-head flew off and zonked me in the head. A few weeks later, we got a report that we should not drink the water provided by the Runaway Bay Water Company (RWBC) because a resident had tested the water quality and found it had a lot of potentially harmful minerals. I didn't believe the consequences until my daughter's hair started to fall out, my wife's face broke out, and I saw the damage wrought on my water heater. Where is Erin Brockovich when you need her?
Now fast-forward three years and we are being subject to unscheduled disruptions in our water supply that is going to force me to dig deep in my pockets once again to acquire a tank. This is not what I signed up for. 
New Era, thank you for the giant cracks running through my walls. Thank you for the cheap bathroom fixtures that almost gave me a concussion. Thanks for the cheap Chinese tiles which pop up like the crack of automatic gunfire at 2 in the morning. Thank you for the cheap, discoloured marble in the kitchens, thank you for the cheap white cupboards that become unhinged with freakish regularity, and thank you for the automatic gate that works three months out of every year. Thank you for that God-awful road littered with potholes the size of craters that have made me a regular customer at auto parts stores. And lastly, I thank you for the highway that has so 'enriched' the lives of my fellow neighbours in C and D.
Thank you, New Era, you are like those third-rate con men that convince people that they talk to God. You sold me a lie and I bought it hook, line and sinker. Congratulations. And this is the second time, because I had already bought one house from these jokers once before in Angels Estate. You know what they say, fool me once, but fool me know the rest. 
You guys have no idea of the full matrix of my agony. 
So for all you prospective buyers out there - Caveat Emptor (let the buyer beware). If you already bought one of these flawed units, I have to just welcome you wholeheartedly to Caymanas Country Club Estates. Welcome to my life. Welcome to my nightmare. Welcome to the club, but hey at least we have a pool. 
Read 5050 times Last modified on Monday, 12 December 2016 13:36

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